Meet Mary Nel
I help women find their way back tothemselves.
I'm Mary, a life coach and author in Cape Town. I work with women who have spent years doing what was expected and now wonder what they would choose for themselves. My training in CBT, NLP, mindfulness and hypnotherapy informs the practical work we do together.
Mary Nel is the founder of The Wabi-Sabi Life Coach and supports purpose-driven women navigating midlife transitions, identity shifts, overthinking and quiet burnout.
“Wabi-sabi doesn't ask you to turn every hard thing into a beautiful lesson; it makes room for the honest story of what happened, what it changed and what you want to do now.”
Three lenses. One clear picture.
My practice draws on NLP, CBT-informed reflection and mindfulness to create a coaching space that is both warm and rigorous, where we can notice a pattern you keep repeating, test a thought you've taken as fact or pause long enough to hear what you actually want before choosing what to try next.
NLP, Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Helps you interrupt the patterns you've been running on autopilot, and choose ones that actually serve you.
CBT, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Gives you a method for naming the stories you tell yourself, testing them against evidence, and writing kinder, truer ones.
Mindfulness
Returns you to your body and the present moment, where real decisions are made and real change begins.
The training behind my coaching
Completed through The Academy of Modern Applied Psychology (Achology).
NLP Practitioner Certificate
Mindfulness Practitioner Diploma
Hypnotherapy Practitioner Course
Skilled Helper Training
Additional completed training includes NLP Fundamentals, Mindfulness for Highly Effective Leadership & Management, and Mindfulness for Mental Health, Personal Growth & Inner Peace.
Author of Mary Nel Unleashes, an Amazon best-seller.
I didn't plan to learn this the hard way.
I spent years building a career in IT, software testing, mostly, armed with big, audacious goals and the kind of certainty that convinces you you've got it all figured out. And for a while, I did: a career, a life, a version of "success" I'd worked hard for.
Then came 2008. The housing market crashed, and I lost the things I'd built that career around, the financial foundation I thought was permanent, the identity that came with it. I didn't handle it gracefully. But in what was left, I found something I hadn't expected: the realisation that a much smaller, much more honest life could still be a good one.
That's when wabi-sabi found me, not as a design trend, but as a way of making sense of imperfection, impermanence, and starting again without a five-year plan. I trained in life coaching, CBT, NLP, mindfulness and hypnotherapy, including practitioner training through The Academy of Modern Applied Psychology and Gerard Egan's Skilled Helper approach. I wanted tools, not just a new mindset.
I live in Cape Town with my husband, Hylton, who has heard every version of this story and still laughs at the parts that are supposed to be funny. I coach women in midlife because I know exactly what it is to lose the version of yourself you built so carefully, and to find, underneath it, someone more honest.
“I've had to start again more than once. That experience shapes how I listen when a woman tells me the plan she trusted no longer fits.”
Beyond the coaching room
- After two continents, four countries and seven cities, Cape Town is the one that finally stuck.
- I found NLP through a Tony Robbins box set left next to a bin in the late '90s. Best piece of "rubbish" I never took out.
- I'm a lifelong reader who's become an audiobook convert, my Kindle still has more books wearing the "new" badge than I'll admit to.
- K-dramas are a legitimate form of self-care. I will not be taking questions on this.
- Sticky chicken wings fix most problems. My husband Hylton, my favourite human, wholeheartedly agrees.
- I've traded my "IT chick" status for training in life coaching, CBT, NLP, mindfulness, hypnotherapy and the Skilled Helper approach, but I still speak fluent software-tester.
Ready to find out where you are?
The Clarity Compass takes three minutes and tells you exactly which crossroads you're standing at, and the first wabi-sabi step through it.
Questions
Mary Nel is the founder of The Wabi-Sabi Life Coach. She's a certified life coach and CBT practitioner trained in NLP, mindfulness and hypnotherapy, based in Cape Town, South Africa, who helps midlife women navigate transitions, self-trust, burnout and life direction.
Warm, direct and practical. Mary blends Wabi-Sabi philosophy with NLP, CBT-informed reflection and mindfulness, supported by practitioner training through The Academy of Modern Applied Psychology and her own experience of starting again.
Mary rebuilt her own life after the 2008 financial crash cost her the career and identity she'd spent years building. She works with women in midlife because she knows first-hand what it takes to start again without a five-year plan.
No. Coaching is not therapy, diagnosis or mental health treatment. It's forward-focused support for reflection, clarity, self-trust and action. If you need clinical mental health support, Mary will point you toward an appropriate professional.